Thursday, January 21, 2010

A Snob's Eye View: Online Dating

So I’m admitting something I never thought I would…I, the Snob, am on Here’s the thing, if there are two things I hate in the world it’s crowds and strangers. combines both of these in a convenient and sadly addicting forum. The site is, essentially, a virtual crowd of strangers. However for the past week and a half I’ve forced myself to confront my fears and embark on a great social experiment.

Unfortunately in real life, despite how charming and witty I happen to find myself, no potential suitors have managed to find me- period. I am chronically single. Some have suggested it’s the exact premise of the blog that I am forever a party of one…that if I could just refrain from passing judgments long enough to let my guard down, maybe I’d find myself with a date for Friday night. I’m trying to keep this idea in mind as I sift through the masses on Match, telling myself its okay if he’s under 6’0, didn’t go to a top school, or instantly take my breath away with a stunning photo lineup on the profile…however there are some things I just can’t compromise on. For example:

-Earrings: listen, its not 2001 and I am not a high school sophomore. You are also white. This look does not flatter you. Please remove and resubmit yourself.

-Necklaces (see hemp, chain, cross): as stated above, this trend is no longer current nor was it ever attractive, I do not care if you are Italian or Granola-y…no neck wear besides a smart-looking tie or a scarf on a cold winter day is acceptable.

-Spelling mistakes: my tagline plainly states “Poor syntax is a turn off,” however what’s worse is blatant spelling errors. Unsure of the difference between There, Their and They’re? Confused between Then and Than? There is no future for us.

So I pretty much know what I’m not looking for…but with that in mind, I haven’t exactly stumbled upon what I am looking for. Until I figure that out though, I think I’ll just have fun weeding out the undesirables…


DianeBickel said...

I agree with points 2 and 3, but would probably forgive earrings...Reggie Bush wears earrings, after all. I wouldn't kick him out of bed.

I can't wait until you're in one of those TV commercials talking about your great love story!

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