Tuesday, October 20, 2009


I do my best to squeeze a workout in before heading to the office...even hiring on a personal trainer to assist me in my quest to be hott (fyi- almost a year in, and still no where near said goal). On the laziest days, I exert myself only as much as it takes to plug my headphones in and watch The Today Show whilst meandering along the treadmill belt. On more rigorous days, I employ a range of both cardio and resistance training. And though I am pretty sure I don't know how to do the latter part of this coupling correctly, there are plenty of people sweating alongside me (ew.) that are even more clueless...or just plain weird. In the past ten months I've observed these folks and their bizarre gym behavior, making mental notes of their absurdity, creating little nicknames for them and generally wondering what precisely is going through their minds. Allow me to introduce you the cast of characters I share my mornings with:

"Blue": unfortunately Blue isn't quite a regular, however it's a rare treat when this silver fox strides into the gym. No, its not a handsome physique or dazzling smile that catches my eye, rather its the fact that he's roughly eighty-two and his choice of gym attire is a maroon wrestling singlet. Perhaps he's a pro in the retirement home wrestling circuit, or is yearning for his glory days when he won states in 1802, however I still find his workout getup to be entirely inappropriate for his age, and for public consumption.

"Walter and the Future Mrs. Mitty": For those of you unfamiliar with the tale of Walter Mitty, its a lovely story about a husband and his ridiculously overbearing and somewhat controlling wife. This same relationship is expertly displayed each morning by a doughy-looking gentleman (Walter) and his pint-sized, super-fit fiance, aka The Future Mrs. Mitty (FMM). Clip board in hand, she leads him through a barrage of stretching, cardio and weights, all of which he completes with an utter lack of enthusiasm or skill. Hence, no change in the aforementioned doughy physique. During the routine, FMM is either working out alongside Walter, completing each task with absolute intensity or standing next to him, barking orders and making attempts to correct his form as he half-heartedly struggles through whatever task she's assigned. I'm pretty sure this dynamic is not limited strictly to the gym floor, and instead I'm fairly confident FMM wears the pants in all aspects of the relationship.

These is just a smattering of the gems I have the privilege of working out with...more to come.


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