Tuesday, May 4, 2010

In a rut.

Allow me to preface this post with an apology: Sorry I’ve been MIA…I’m in a bit of a rut. One that has unfortunately consumed me enough to impact my creative process and prevent any posts…therefore, in a combative effort against said rut- I’m posting about it.

For the past few months neither myself nor my life have ‘sparkled’. I understand that sparkle is a term few use in describing their lives, as it conjures up images of disco balls and drag queens…and for some of us, a period of time during middle school when we would wear copious amounts as eye shadow, but it’s rather appropriate when describing the lackluster feeling I’ve been embodying for the better part of two months.

I can’t precisely pinpoint when I went off course, but at some point I diverted from the path and have landed squarely in the aforementioned rut. My rut has manifested itself mainly in my appearance, as I am fairly certain that 58 of the last 63 days have been bad hair days. This is serious for me- my hair has always been a source of pride…be it during the days of yore when it hung long and luxuriously, or in more recent times when I accidently wound up with somewhat of a butch haircut, it still looked great. Probably better than yours in fact. However, now that its somewhere in between…its hideous. No matter what styling product or tool I use on it, I wind up looking dreadful. As a temporary solution, I’ve adopted the ‘lesbian ponytail’ for work. This involves pulling it back into a stub of a ponytail at the nape of my neck and spending the rest of the day praying it will grow out.

Speaking of growing out- my eyebrows are excelling in this area. As a child who once suffered from the terrible affliction known as a unibrow, the chance of a reoccurrence is all too real of a fear. On top of this (literally, in some cases), the breakout that’s spanning my forehead is really compounding the issue and driving me further into despair. If a giant sunhat and oversize sunglasses were appropriate office attire, you can bet I’d be sporting them from 9 to 5 daily.

Instead what I am sporting is whatever I can find on my bedroom floor in the morning. Yep, floor. Its my newest storage solution as my recent move has me living in a place I absolutely adore, but the offers me very little with regard to storage space. Up until 5 am this Saturday morning I had narrowly avoided employing floor to store my clothing- instead relying on a freestanding clothes rack to hang all of my dresses, skirts and other work staples. Twice before it had collapsed (once onto the rack of handbags on the back of my door, once on top of me), however Saturday morning saw its ultimate demise. Since then its been resting in pieces on the floor alongside the clothing it once housed. Each ensemble I select from my new organizational arrangement has lead me to believe that I not only need a new closet, but potentially a new wardrobe to fill it with.

Alas, a new wardrobe is certainly out of reach, but I will be treating myself to something I hope will be a kickstart to get myself out of this rut…heres to regular gym and tanning sessions to commence ASAP.


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